I heard Mom say it’s Vally Times Day (almost). She said something about love and feeling all mushy, she seemed sort of sappy. I said to her straight up “Mom, don’t be mushy, start exercising again. You will get rid of those thighs in no time.” She didn’t laugh and it was almost like [...]
Oh, it’s here. The Holly-daze are here. Mom brought me over to the neighbors while she made wreaths for the front door. She’s shopping a lot. She’s baking a lot. She’s smiling a LOT! Dad on the other hand keeps checking the credit card bills and complaining about Santa not doing his part. Me, I [...]
I’ve started writing my memoirs. It was time. My mother is always showing off her books and I”m so SICK. AND. TIRED. of it being all about her. I love her and all and she’s beautiful and all but enough already. Like the country song goes: “I want to talk about me.”
I bet you didn’t [...]
So I’m not a whitetail deer hunter but Mom said that I gotta wear a vest when I’m outside at the new house. She said it’s DANE. GERM. US. for me to be there without day-glo orange on. I bet Twinkie isn’t wearing orange, or Daisy (well, maybe Daisy does wear orange, she’s kinda [...]
It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do it! I was framed. It wasn’t me. It was the other guy. Didn’t you see the other golden dog who weighs 80 lbs and carries a Snoopy doll in his mouth and goes by the name Lewis. It wasn’t me. I was sleeping. Honestly.
Why would I do that [...]
