I heard Mom say it’s Vally Times Day (almost). She said something about love and feeling all mushy, she seemed sort of sappy. I said to her straight up “Mom, don’t be mushy, start exercising again. You will get rid of those thighs in no time.” She didn’t laugh and it was almost like [...]
Oh, it’s here. The Holly-daze are here. Mom brought me over to the neighbors while she made wreaths for the front door. She’s shopping a lot. She’s baking a lot. She’s smiling a LOT! Dad on the other hand keeps checking the credit card bills and complaining about Santa not doing his part. Me, I [...]
I’ve started writing my memoirs. It was time. My mother is always showing off her books and I”m so SICK. AND. TIRED. of it being all about her. I love her and all and she’s beautiful and all but enough already. Like the country song goes: “I want to talk about me.”
I bet you didn’t [...]
So I’m not a whitetail deer hunter but Mom said that I gotta wear a vest when I’m outside at the new house. She said it’s DANE. GERM. US. for me to be there without day-glo orange on. I bet Twinkie isn’t wearing orange, or Daisy (well, maybe Daisy does wear orange, she’s kinda [...]
So look.
Mom went away AGAIN.
Yeah, like, what the heck is Mom doing going away again?? She left me here with Dad and Twinkie and the lady downstairs. Look, they’re all okay but they are definitely not like Mom. Dad is all screaming at the TV and saying something about BIG POPPI and Mister Papelbon not [...]
